Getting stuck in our comfortable ways to protect our ego can/will hold us back. There are vulnerable writers who view suggestions as judging their character.
Judging is unfairly criticizing someone without having all the facts present. A woman with tattoo sleeves is viewed as a stripper. "You are weak for allowing everyone to take advantage of you," is a negative statement. "You are terrible with your finances," is making a poor judgement of someone who does not earn as much at their current job. "Your finances will be the reason we will not get funding," is another inconsiderate judgemental statement if someone is not the sole reason for this potentially happening.
What is not considered judging is telling someone that if they did not allow a certain person they complain about often to interfere in their life, they would not have to go back to a bad situation. We can tell them that if they gave more effort, they would have already accomplished their dream. The trigger word that sparked this person: Effort. They believe they have given a lot of effort. Truth is, they lost their passion to create. They allowed stress and pressure to rule their life. For this reason, they would constantly reach out for help. Unfortunately, they never applied valuable advice to better their life.
Some people just need attention. They thrive off of sympathy. They need to be heard. They rely on another ear that will listen to their problems. They want us to blame other people. We're not supposed to solve other people's problems. Unresolved issues can block these people from taking actions.
Whatever unresolved issues these people are dealing with come to the surface. They immediately get offended, switching the spotlight back to you—deflecting. They will attack your lack of effort. They will tell you to give up on your dream. Instead of appreciating your advice, they will consider your advice as judging.
Unresolved issues can spark low confidence, insecurities, shame, lack of success, low self-worth, depression, unhappiness, vulnerabilities, self-consciousness and inferiority. It is a multi-headed monster that can unleash fury on us without notice.
We must think of positive words to not offend them. We must compliment them to stroke their fragile ego. We must give them false praise to boost their moods.
Just think about the value of life experiences. Our interactions with people who struggle with a wide range of challenges are useful to expand our screenwriting. No moment in life can ever go wasted. We can use everything in our past to create compelling characters.
People fear getting judged because they secretly know they are doing these negative things. If they already shared their indiscretions before, it is not judging to bring these topics up again during their "complaining and whining' storms. Being honest to help pinpoint the source of problems can empower people. Overly sensitive people who feel guilty inside feel judged.
Confident people don't worry about judgmental people. They don't focus on what people think and say. They concentrate on urgent priorities that can/will improve their current situation. Schedules and deadlines replace overthinking to maximize time.
Good screenwriting is recycling real life events to build characters. We meet certain people for a reason; there are no accidents. Taking notes to save the past can work magic in our future scripts.
Many people feel judged. Many people never seek counseling. Many people get triggered over internal pain. We can't control what happens outside of our lives. People have a right to act any way they want. It is not up to us how they live their lives. If they waste our time and energy returning back with the same problems they refuse to confront, re-evaluate your relationship with them.
When people accuse you of judging them, they hold your opinion on a pedestal. If you mention being disappointed, they will take this to heart. Be careful what you say to vulnerable people. Recycle all past experiences to infuse your script with valuable content to teach people.
What are we about? What is our message? How can we save people from making costly mistakes? Make your screenwriting a learning experience to spread true wisdom.
Happy Screenwriting!
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