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Showing posts with label dream life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dream life. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 14, 2022

What Is Holding Your Screenwriting Back Is Possibly Fear Of Failure

While growing up, I ran cross-country, track and road races. My Dad and I ran many of these road races together. Early on, he instilled in me a competitive pedigree to become a winner. I always feared losing because my Dad placed high standards on winning. 

In junior high school, there was this one kid who always defeated me in every race we competed in. He would beat me in school competitions, road races, and cross-country events. Somehow, I allowed my nerves to get the best of me. In training, I could run the times required to win my age group. On race day, my nerves would get the best of me--exhausting my energy to influence my breathing and race pace. 

My Dad relied on me to win my age group at a local Turkey Trot race. I entered into the 800 meter and the 5K races to increase the probability of winning a turkey. In both of these races, this junior high classmate defeated me. I lost both chances to win a turkey for our Thanksgiving family dinner. 

On our last chance, they held a raffle to give away a turkey. My Dad pulled my name in the raffle; however, the race promoters rejected this over conflict of interest. 

On the way home, my Dad scolded me for losing the two races. He said with all the training I still couldn't become a winner. He said he wouldn't buy me the running shoes I needed to continue on with training. On that night, he took me out to Macy's to buy me new running shoes. 

You can imagine a 12-year-old wanting to make his Dad proud. In the face of others, I was viewed as a failure. My Dad's opinion of me mattered the most, so losing these races shook my confidence. It would eventually carry on until my adult years, where if i didn't make something of myself that I would hear his criticism in the form of passive aggressiveness. Sometimes, my Mom and brothers would share his negative text messages or what he said to put me down. 

I admit that I allowed my Dad's opinion of me not being a winner in life to affect me. He would still buy me random gifts, subtly showing that he appreciated my support. I never held back from telling him I was proud of the life he has lived. 

Last year, my parents were given a move-out notice to leave a home they rented for the past 28 years. My Dad could not let go of leaving this home. I tried my best to convince him that maybe this is a blessing in disguise to purchase a place they can own. Along the way, I went with him on an apartment search. He struggled to overcome the attachment of living in the rental home. 

My Dad linked up with a real estate agent who specialized in manufactured homes. We viewed a few condos and manufactured homes. I even went with my Mom to see another condo. My Dad lost his patience; he wanted to fire the real estate agent. She called me to share what was going on behind the scenes with my Dad. I stepped up and put pressure on my Dad to move past the rental home and focus on purchasing the manufactured home. Usually, I just stayed quiet and didn't confront my Dad. His constant complaining wore me thin and I had to take an unconventional approach to knock down the barriers.  

After being assertive with my Dad to do what the real estate agent requested, she helped him to purchase a manufactured home in a nice 55+ community. A month later, my middle brother and I helped move all of their possessions into the home. However, my Dad started complaining once again about all the junk and refusing to accept these items. He agreed to keep the previous furniture in the place after the former owner had passed away a few weeks before viewing this property. 

When we tried to carry their household items into this place, he wouldn't stop complaining. Yet again, I stepped up to tell him we worked hard in the heat to pack the truck and prepare for this move. I made sure to be assertive like he did in my childhood. This direct approach worked out, allowing us to move everything into the place without anymore resistance. 

A few months after, my Dad underwent a serious health emergency. A medical mistake a few months prior to the move resulted in his toes later developing gangrene. His surgeon made a critical decision to amputate all of his toes and repair an artery supplying blood to his foot. My Dad was feeling so down and out that he was ready to give up on life. I supported him every step of the way, throughout his hospital stay during the holidays. All my personal growth skills went to work, molding him into being appreciative and feeling blessed under the intense circumstances. 

There were a few moments I had to put pressure on him to change his perspective that he had no one to support him. He got into this cynical mindset where he would overlook what people did for him.

Because of my Dad's medical crisis, my best friend started to connect with me again. We have gone on scenic hikes, visited the Disney museum, he helped me to apply for various city jobs and we communicated at a higher frequency. Recently, I got to watch his niece place a college soccer game. At this game, I reconnected with his brother and brother's wife, as well as his Mom who I hadn't seen or talked to in 5 years following the passing of her husband and his Dad. 

Back in June, both of my vehicles broke down and this impacted my earnings. As a result of this, I revised my resume and applied for a variety of jobs. My best friend contributed to making revisions on my resume for city job openings. I focused on pursuing a tech savvy/driving position for a month, completing the extensive interview process and getting hired. Furthermore, I got invited to take an exam for a city planner and passed this test to move forward in the hiring process with the supplemental questionnaire. In about 5 days, I will start my new job with a tech company. 

This story of fearing failure involves breaking out of bad habits that likely originated from my past connections. My Dad's perception weighed me down like an anchor. I always wanted to make him proud. All he would see is me struggling with continuous challenges that impacted all areas of my life. 

I never gave up trying to meet success. Sometimes, we face extremely difficult moments where we must take serious actions. We have to do what is new, what is uncomfortable to gain confidence.

What has held me back in pursuing my dream is my fear of failure, my fear of change, my fear of losing more time. No matter how much I have tried to convince myself, I still have yet to engage in screenwriting with the identical effort that resembles my college years and 2016-2020. It took detaching from several people to start making serious decisions. 

When we lose fear, we can start living a better life. Truth is, I have failed so many times to stay afloat on the dream path. Once you have the resources to apply yourself, you start struggling with commitment. Then, your financial life keeps reminding you of all the mistakes you think you made to keep your dream alive. Balance never arrives in time, so you believe you lost many years. 

I do not feel I have given everything in my heart to become a successful screenwriter. What I do know is that I don't fear failing anymore. When you lose at winning the life you believe will make you happy, you look at different ways to do things. You develop a new perspective to view the little wins as positive steps moving you forward. 

I found great happiness in going on many unique adventures with my dog. Landing the new tech job will enable me to take him to new places. Taking photography will reserve a digital memory of our nostalgic moments.  

Even though my circle encourages me to let go out my dream and let it die, I still plan to work on screenplays on silent convert missions. We don't have to share everything we are working on. If we lack support, we can create new circles that match our interests. Most importantly, we can get ahead if we can take care of ourselves without being dependent on outside help. 

If you lost your motivation and inspiration to do screenwriting, retrace the steps to unblock these kinks. You may have to travel way back into your childhood years to pinpoint the source. Once you do this, you will be able to commit yourself and reconnect with screenwriting. 

Someone once wrote me, "Things happen for a reason, there are no accidents".  I totally agree with her. 

Good screenwriters understand real life. They are masters of showing conflict, and then resolving it. Use everything you got to get to where you want to be. Never allow any fears to set you back. 

We don't need to win at everything. We don't need to make people proud. We do need to believe in this life to have a purpose. Waking up every morning aspiring to make a difference can be enough to turn our life around. Don't be afraid that you may be extremely good at what you love. 

Remind yourself that you deserve your dream. Reward yourself for all the little wins. Appreciate the simple moments. Your dream is much bigger than what you can ever imagine. 

Happy Screenwriting! 


Saturday, August 8, 2020

Patience and Perseverance

Thousands of aspiring screenwriters dream of writing the next hot script that is made into a popular movie. There are film industry players and prolific screenwriters who have already taken this journey numerous times. Nevertheless, thousands of writers spend countless hours in screenwriting forums chatting about their current/past stories, popular films they like, creative ideas that excite them, and famous screenwriters they admire. They are motivated to make industry connections, form new friendships and build meaningful relationships. Hundreds of Instagram page owners post content sharing personal script projects, screenwriting contests, potential story ideas and script pages to their personal screenplays. True screenwriters hold passion for creating compelling stories. Patience and perseverance hold the key to making your screenwriting dream a lucrative career.

If we wish our screenplay will eventually be optioned, we are putting our dream on a pedestal. Making Hollywood appear unattainable is giving the film industry way too much credit for our future happiness. It is possible to write a good screenplay capable of winning screenwriting competitions.

Your script can move past gatekeepers to get optioned. Your script can be made into a Netflix movie. Your script can become a blockbuster movie. Visualize what you want and apply yourself to go get it. 

We must believe in our creative adventures. Don't worry about what people think. You are not selfish for desiring to live your dream. If you put forth the effort, you deserve to live a better life.  

Writers have many goals in sight. Looking in the rearview mirror can/will block progress. Discipline, time management and passion will keep your screenwriting dream moving forward. We must keep writing pages, research what studios want/need, listen to podcasts featuring successful screenwriters, study great screenwriters, learn about the business of movies and build our stories into profound movies. When I mention scripts, I mean we must complete several scripts to increase our chances in getting noticed. 

One script can connect us with the right people who want to view our writing portfolio. It's possible this individual, that studio or those group of people may not have interest in optioning our only script. However, our writing talents may attract the attention of industry-connected people. They may ask us what other projects we have stored in our script arsenal. Don't sell yourself short by investing your entire farm into only one script idea, unless you are confident in this story to sacrifice everything.  

This is where your patience and perseverance come into play. No matter what obstacles and challenges stand in your way, you must be confident in your creation(s). Pet projects usually create intense excitement because these stories hit close to home. These projects hold a deeper meaning-- they fulfill our inner desires. They can go back to our childhood, where we enjoyed watching science fiction movies such as E.T. and Star Wars. Emotional connections can take us down memory lane. 

The most powerful filmmakers in Hollywood had to wait their turn. Christopher Nolan directed Memento, Insomnia, Batman Begins, The Prestige and The Dark Knight to earn his chance at making Inception. The Dark Knight Rises, Interstellar, Dunkirk and Tenet followed Inception. Given Nolan's track record, he is one of most successful directors working in Hollywood.  

Good things happen to those who are patient is a flawed saying. It should be good things happen to those who work hard while being patient for opportunities. Staying confident to continue working on your script project(s) hold(s) immense power over your dreams and goals.    

Most of the time, we must prove our value before we take a stab at prized projects. For the most part, we will likely have to pay our dues working on projects with no creative value. Reality television is a perfect example of aspiring filmmakers going to film school and accepting high paying jobs working on uncreative ventures to climb up that industry ladder. Never judge professional work that rewards you with valuable experience. If you get paid to perform your talents, you are moving in the right direction.

Many writers get stuck listening to what writing books tell them to write. They follow Save The Cat, Kate Wright's sequences, A Hero With A Thousand Faces, Story and other books that instruct writers what must happen at what time with careful attention to the author's thoughts and theories. Following this approach turns a screenplay into a cliched piece of unoriginal work. Even though our scripts are fictional pieces of work, we have no obligation to mimic past screenplays. 

The human condition and emotions connect the audience with characters who may have similar traits that resemble theirs. How do people behave in a pre-apocalyptic world? What will people do to protect a secret? What fears block them? What regrets do they have? What is stopping them from talking to their true love? End of the world movies convey real actions of real life people. 

Truth is, we waste too much time living in the past instead of planning for our future. We don't do enough to live our dream. We need constant attention to feel self-worth. We focus on what other people are doing. We stay on the sidelines, being afraid of looking bad in front of people who we don't know. We postpone making decisions to avoid rejection. We obsess over small things that have no impact on the bigger picture.

We let years pass us by without responding to what we want. We allow true love to slip away. We don't take personal responsibility. We blame other peole for our mistakes. We don't show we care about our dream to be taken seriously. We need people to validate us. We envy others for living the dream we think we are better at doing but do nothing to make it happen. We are to blame for our own life. Nobody is responsible for our failures. The moment we can accept personal responsibility, there will be hope for us to achieve greatness. 

If you don’t give your dream any attention, you are guaranteed to fail what you want most in this life. 


Happy Screenwriting! 
        

Thursday, July 23, 2020

You Only Live Once...

Dreams will never wait for us. If we live our life for a dream, we will miss out on many priceless moments. Don't make everything about your dream... However, take the necessary steps to live your dream. You only live this life once so make every opportunity matter. 

Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Applying Talent To Get Work Done

Screenwriting is a craft we can develop. If you remember the saying, practice makes perfect, you will recognize that becoming better at what we love to do can improve our lifestyle. Good habits deliver consistent results. Rewarding effort motivates us to spend time on projects, jobs and tasks.

Applying our writing talent to make a difference is the first step to push our screenwriting forward. We need to be writing, writing, writing! Withholding our talents/gifts for financial gain can/will influence our passion. Spending countless hours on social media to discuss screenwriting delays production.

The fear to finish a script is connected to uncomfortable change. People who lack confidence worry about criticism. They feel unworthy without attention. They stress out watching other people get ahead. Sometimes, these people just need someone to complain to so they don't feel alone--even worthless. Insecurities can block us from climbing up that tall mountain. Overthinking is full of self-doubts that delay our production and stall progress.

What talented artists forget is that they possess what many people lack: A gift. People who are not as talented must work harder to make an impact. For some ungodly reason, talented artists are uninspired to apply their gifts. There is a big reason people never accomplish their dreams. They have unresolved issues originating from childhood that manifest into mental disorders. If left untreated, these internal problems put these people in inferior roles. They accept poor treatment because they believe it is deserved. Their sense of worth is extremely low. Nevertheless, they believe people look down on them.

No matter how much time we spend to help someone succeed, they can keep coming back with the same exact problems. They never apply what we teach them. They self-sabotage daily. They follow a self-destructive path. They put themselves down. Working hard to confront internal challenges will help us overcome setbacks.

How to gain a competitive advantage:
  • Apply yourself to increase luck. 
  • Work hard to get your work out there. 
  • Stay humble to avoid overvaluing your worth. 
  • Be patient. 
  • Balance is everything.

Happy screenwriting!


Be Committed To Your Screenwriting/Film/Life Dream

"Life will only change when you become more committed to your dreams than to your comfort zone" -Filmtrepreneur Podcast with Alex Ferrari.

Dreams will not manifest out of thin air. Wanting to accomplish a dream without taking serious actions to move forward is basically living in a fantasy. We should never get rewarded for complaining about successful people. Positive people walking the walk deserve credit for investing their energy, effort and time into advancing their dreams. Instead of envying, we should practice respecting.

Envy is dangerous. If we resent what other people earn, we will believe we are entitled to get what we believe we deserve. Judging people for getting ahead can make us cynical. This is a major problem that resides deep down in our core. Jealously is such a negative emotion that creates so much hatred. Blaming other people for what we're not doing will turn us into negative people. Don't live your life having regrets. It is no one's fault that your dream sits on ice.

We must change the way we think to make progress. Allowing comfort to become a mainstay in our daily lives can sink everything. Placing comfort on a pedestal is a dream buster. Complacency is a confidence killer. The moment we fail, we will fall apart. Given this widespread problem, we have to shift our focus away from comfortability to boost our confidence.

Knowing our true identity can unlock everything. Why do we do what we do? Do we have passion? What makes us wake up in the morning? What do we want to accomplish in this life? What will we do to get there? Are we making progress? Is this dream a good fit for us?

Truth is, time is definitely not on our side. Time does not care to wait for us. The world will move ahead without us. If we empower our time, we can transform this life into something truly amazing.

Waking up every day with a purpose to make a true difference in this world can give us a competitive edge. Our heart must be into our dream. Passion and drive must remain constant. Maintaining discipline, determination, resilience, consistency, integrity, persistence and patience will move us closer to our dream life. Committing our time and energy to fuel our dream will put comfort to rest.

Happy screenwriting!